Expectations

  • -

Expectations

Category : Uncategorized

Bill Gates visited a High School and gave a speech on the rules of life.

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

Rule 12:   Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you’re out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That’s what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for “expressing yourself” with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule 13:   You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven’t seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule 14:   Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school’s a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you’ll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You’re welcome.

Many of the rules I will not agree with from a counselling perspective but some of them I believe have merit.  He is trying to prove a point that the world doesn’t owe us, we create our own world.  That we cannot just expecct everything to be handed to us on a plate without us working for it.  We are responsible for our actions, emotions, health and wellbeing and no one else.

Rule 1: Life is not fair-on occasions yes lie isn’t fair however we have a choice do we sit and whinge about it or do we dust ourselves off shrug our shoulders and get on with it.  At times in life we will see things that we believe our unfair or even unjust, but isn’t that our perspective.

Rule 2: The world doesn’t care about your self-esteem. Unfortunately very true.  Self esteem is about ourselves we are the ones who need to build it and we won’t get it from other people’s validation,  we need to prove that we are capable before people will validate us.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.  As much as l’d like to dismiss this rule I’m pretty sure that this one is very true.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.  Teachers are tough they are there to help prepare us for the world.  In many cases bosses are tougher there will be deadlines that ‘the dog ate my homework’ will not cover.  Repeated sickness will be disciplined and the bus was late just won’t cut it.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.  if you want to work a job is a job

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault.  if we mess up its our fault!  We choose our actions not anyone else we are responsible for our thoughts, actions, health and wellbeing.  Our parents will do their best in bringing us up but they are not responsible for all our mistakes and problems.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now.  Before obligation, responsibility and babies your parents were pretty damn cool.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT.  I remember reading an article about schools cancelling sports days many years ago to help the chidren who weren’t good at sport, it didn’t make any sense especially as I was one of those kids that excelled at sport but not in the classroom. What was the school saying to these kids?  That you can only excel in the classroom. Taking away grades and sports days if anything, when people step into college or work they’ll have no real idea that you have to work and strive to be better not to beat anyone else but for them to improve and strive.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. SO TRUE!  most places will give you 4 weeks off a year and thats it if you chose to take it in one go thats your choice but not many companies will grant unpaid leave or anything other than emergencies.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life.  I often have this converation with my clients  using Friends as an example.  As much as this disappoints me to say if your a barista/waitress there isn’t much chance that you are able to afford to share aloft apartment in Manhatten NY, let alone the designer closet.  As much as I’d like to say that everything will work out regarding and on off relationship and yes we have all heard the my friend of a friend stories but how often do we see this for ourselves?

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one. Pretty sure I do!

Rule 12:   Smoking does not make you look cool. smoking is one of the biggest killers in the western world and still many people smoke.  It  has many health contraindications it isn’t about coolness its about making health choices. Tatoos/piercings and purple hair are part of life, where and what we have will affect our future and although we may be very nice people unfortunately image will always play a part in job interviews and life.  A recent program of Katie Piper called Bodyshockers proved this by peoples drunken bets/dares haven’t a negative effect on the rest of their life.

Rule 13:   You are not immortal. true

Rule 14:   Enjoy this while you can.  Life will have ups and downs and many changes enjoy what you can ask for help when you need it .

 

I often ask my clients about their expectations not because I’m harsh but because they need to look at if they are expecting too much from themselves or other people.  Perception plays a part in this, what we espect is perhaps what someone else believes they are delivering, or even are we putting unrealistic expectations on oursleves to achieve things that we are punishing ourselves to achieve?