Emotional Therapeutic Counselling works by accessing our inner child. It looks at all of our pain, how what happened to us as a child affects our lives. The example I always use is when you’re angry as a child how was it dealt with?
Were you sent to your room?
Were you hit or beaten?
Did you have to stand in the corner facing a wall?
Were you allowed to express your anger and helped through it??
From this, most of us learn that expressing anger is considered wrong and that how our parents and carers reacted to our behaviour means that its wrong. We learn that we upset or even anger others by showing that side of ourselves. Over time we can internalise our anger, we can become like a pressure cooker as more and more things make us angry only exploding later over something that seems trivial, possible even at the wrong person, some of us may get diagnosed with mild depression, others walk around permanently feeling like they are about to explode and some violently lash out.
In my therapy room my big bowl of sweets are a way to access a client’s Inner Child, pretty much everyone has a story to tell regarding sweets. Mine is brown humbugs, my Nan when babysitting always on tucking us in bed would give us a humbug she always told us to save it till tomorrow (yeah right!) I remember my little sister choking on hers once, she was ok but had a big telling off from my Mom and Nan.
When I talk to people about my sweets they become animated and excited, they remember things that they haven’t thought of for several years, I love to hear their stories of brotherly and sisterly Kit Kat destroying, the strong reaction about Parma Violets (a bit like Marmite), the recognition of love hearts, black jacks, fruit salads, sherbert fountains, drumstick lollies. For some people looking and eating at the sweets reminds them that their childhood wasn’t as bad, for others it reminds them that it was, either way its a good thing.
By accessing our Inner Child we can work through some of their previous emotional pain, understand why we sometimes react to things that seem trivial, what our triggers are leading to a greater understanding of ourselves.
I would love to hear your stories and sweet suggestions and if you fancy buying some childhood sweets then you can get them from keep it sweet