Reality Vs Shoulds

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Reality Vs Shoulds

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Over the years I’ve attended many workshops-counselling, spiritual and personal development, I would come home with reams of notes and full of ideas of living my life by the new things I learnt, but apart from been unrealistic they were not and were never going to be life changing for me; why? Reality vs Shoulds!

The answer is simple, what is right for me isn’t right for someone else and with each workshop attended and book read, we need to take away what we feel comfortable with and reality plays a big part in what we are able to do!

There is an air of expectation if you are a spititual person, maybe even myths about us that include: we all are vegertarian, fairtrade buying, quinoa eating barefoot hippies who preach to everyone around them how they are single handedly destroying the world. Maybe it is a shame to destroy the illusion, I don’t know, but with everything in life including spirituallity we need to take what we feel comfortable with and discard the rest.

If I did everything I was suppose to do before I left for work in the morning believe me I wouldn’t leave the house, reality vs shoulds will always be a part of this for me, there is no way I’m going to set my alarm earlier so lets not prentend I meditate everyday! Yes there are many people who manage to do this, yes I even get the benefits. and this is something I use to beat myself up about and then realised that I can’t do everything and I need to take what I felt comfortable with, if I managed it, great, if I didn’t so what!

I am veggie but do I preach to everyone about them killing animals! No because choice is part of life My Husband eats his steak blue, and my daughter eats meat, they like it, so do several thousand other people, and at the same time I do not like Meat eaters forcing their ‘well you should eat meat’ at me!

If we all play by the shoulds spreading ourselves so thin, or denying ourselves the things we love to eat, drink and enjoy are we really living? Reality has to play a part, getting up at 4am in the morning for instance is it a viable option- for some people maybe for others not so. I recently read a book that said I should eat my lunch at 11.30am- again maybe there are people who are able to do this, realistically most peoples lunchbreaks are at 1pm, imagine my bosses face if I pulled out my lunch whilst I’m treating a client.

Life is meant to be lived, enjoyed and experienced, if we all live by rules that govern our every action then can we truly say that we are loving it? there has to be some element of freewill. With everything, we need to look at it and work out if it is right for us and take what we feel comfortable with from any book or workshop, hats off to anybody who has the ability to follow workshops, books and rules religiously never sliding off for a sneaky coffee, red wine or chocolate bar but I love my coffee, red wine and chocolate way to much to give them up completely! Maggy Whitehouse one of my great friends and definately one of my favourite mentors explains this very well in her comedy debut from 2012.

The question is, Reality Vs Shoulds which is winning.