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We all do it! May be only to a small degree but we do! We talk to ourselves, through a problem we are solving to our plans for the next year! Self talk! It can be positive, however 9 times out of 10 it is a nagging little voice that berates, ridicules and punishes us for everything.
Self talk is a Destructive Cycle
Everytime we make a tiny error in judgement, a mistake or even want to try something new, there is a little voice saying ”your stupid”, ”Why did you do that”, ”You can’t do that”. I could go on for ages the list I have heard over the last few years is endless, each with its own unique way of actually hitting us where it hurts and stopping us believing in oursleves and creating a life we dream of.
The problem with self talk is that because we ain’t really aware of it, it is hard to stop. Firstly we need to become aware of the things we say to ourselves in specfic situations, such as when a mistake is made, and listen to what negative statement we. When we can identifiy what we are saying to ourselves in situations we often become aware of what we are saying the rest of the time! The fact is these statements aren’t true! We made a mistake, they happen but how useful is it to have a constant voice telling you how stupid you are that eventually you truly believe it!
When we know what we are saying we can try to stop it!
Affirmations or mantras are a really useful way if breaking the cycle. Affirmations are a positive statement that we can say to ourselves at times when we are beating ourselves up and in stressful situations.
Self talk is a massive part of my counselling practice and I use an exercise to help clients identify what they thinking and are saying to themselves, from this we will work out a affirmation that they can say when they become aware of their negative self talk. Initially they find it hard but after a while the positive statement will kick in the moment the negative trys to pop in.
Initially most of my clients will use ”I love and approve of myself”, which is a standard affirmation that Louise Hay uses and talks about in her books. However I have found that my clients who make it their own and find something that resonates with them are able to grasp their self talk quickly.
So next time you go on to beat yourself up! Stop, take a deep breathe and repeat to yourself whatever mantra works for you.
Than you for reading