The Right to Choose

The Right to Choose

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This week saw the Scottish people vote yes to stay apart of the UK, although many voted yes and the the results were very close who knows if in a future referendum the answer will be No.

The referendum gave the Scottish people the right to choose there own fate.  I’m sure that there were many people had heated discussions across dinner tables, and in pubs across the country.  I’m not a big political follower but even I found the vote quiet fascinating.  Instead of the Government deciding something on behalf of the people they put it to the people to decide.

Often in  life we have our choices taken from us especially when we were younger for example how many of us got to choose which secondary school we went to?  Although my parents sent me to a excellent school it wasn’t the right choice for me, constant comparisons to my elderly more academic sisters and the fact I was rubbish at maths did nothing self esteem.  Or the right to choose what to wear on a family photo so that you all blend nicely together, however the colour that was chosen does nothing for your complexion or show who you really are.

Often the fact that our choices are taken from us actually hindrance us in adulthood, we know what we want to do but we know that if we decide to do it there maybe consequences from our family because they won’t approve of our choice.  Yes I know its easier said than done to not conform with our family rules.  With families it’s very difficult for them to see that what is right for them isn’t necessarily right for you and because we’ve spent x amount of years going along with their wishes when we actually start to say no, perhaps not even running ideas past them or simple just doing what is right for us the dynamics change and are family know which buttons to press to establish guilt and return us to the fold.

Take Scotland for example as a metaphor for a 16 year old child wish for more independence, they want to go out and party, along comes Mom and Dad in the form of England saying no you need to be home by 10pm.  It gets nasty and an arguement escalates, slamming doors, accusations of mistrust. Scotland needs to be trusted that it can manage its own without parental supervision, and England needs to relinquish some of its control allowing Scotland to flourish.

Does this sound familiar?

We all have choices to make within our lives but sometimes we can’t work out what we want because we haven’t actually worked out what is best for us! Counselling gives my clients the chance to explore there needs and desires without guilt and outside pressures and influences, giving them their personal power to make necessary choices which are right for them.